Wednesday, January 6

The Art of Confidence with Sherbet Aurora

Hello! I'm Gail, from SherbetAurora

I mostly write about travels (like my flight to Singapore for the weekend!), lifestyle and some occasional fashion!

Recently, I've taken a focus on happiness/confidence, specifically for those who deal with mental illness such as anxiety and depression. I've written a few posts which others have found to be helpful; The Importance of Life Experience being the most popular which deals with my life over the last 3 years and how I've got to where I am today.

My way to boost confidence starts as a simple, yet oddly difficult concept:

I was talking to my life coach one day, and she gave me a challenge; talk to one person every day. Seems simple enough, right? No. Not if you deal with anxiety. Thoughts rage in your head "What do I say?", "How can I even begin to say something?", "What if they blank me?", "What if they find me annoying?" ... You know the drill. I accepted the challenge thinking I'd never manage to do it.

I would stand at the bus stop, and nervously ask the old woman beside me, "When is the bus due?" which lead to a small conversation about the weather and how cold it is.

I would be at work, and build up the courage to ask the customer, who was waiting on their food, how their day had been. I sometimes got a simple, "good." in response, but other times they told me all all about their day of shopping, or how they're just off a flight from Benidorm and are too tired to cook.

Then, I went to visit my friend Racheal. I wandered around Lush where I saw his girl with amazing multi coloured hair. As I left the store, I went up to her; "Hi, can I just say, I really love your hair." and she just beamed at me, I'd made her day! She told me how she achieved it and we both partied ways with a smile on our faces. Later on, I was on a train home with my friend Jennifer. There was a guy sat opposite us. After a half-hour, I asked him if he'd like one of my bubblegum bottle sweets, which lead to a conversation about being vegetarian and then about university for 2 hours. I got my next train alone and I asked the conductor how his day had been, it had been a long one, and this was his last shift of the night. Nobody thinks to ask conductors about their day.

Now, I find it easy to walk into a shop and start a conversation with the cashier "Has it been busy today?" and end it with "Have a nice shift". However, this is after a year of saying one nice thing to someone every day. Whether or not you believe in the studies showing that this works, believe me when I say that if you stick at it, you'll end up feeling more confident and a lot happier.

I'm still nervous talking in front of a large group of people, but I know now that I have more confidence than ever before, and if I stick at this simple idea, then who knows where I'll be in 5 years. Plus, it makes you, and the stranger, both feel really great!

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